"At least you have a child"
It’s been a long time since I’ve written and I feel as though I’m always starting a new blogpost like this, smh!
Has anything drastic happened? - Nope.
I’m just not finding the time to do things.
It’s mental health awareness week and I’m going to discuss the difficulties of being a parent whilst going through tough times.
I am not depressed and I most certainly haven’t been diagnosed with depression however there has been times when I’ve found myself in a low state, and the difference may seem similar but the diagnosis is completely different.
Here’s a link from NHS.org about the symptoms for depression:
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/clinical-depression/symptoms/
I can say that I have felt low, but I do believe that feeling low is apart of life. As a Christian I truly believe that God will always and can always lift you up out of your low times, the bible says, “If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I lie down in the grave, you are there.” Psalms 139:8 NCV God is with us all the time.
The signs that you’re feeling low according to the NHS
You may feel:
* sad
* worried, anxious or panicked
* tired
* a lack of self-confidence
* frustrated or irritated
* angry
* not interested in things
Or you might notice you start:
* withdrawing from your usual activities, particularly ones you used to enjoy or value
* spending less time with those you care about
* having trouble sleeping
I’ve found myself feeling low a few too many times of recent but as a mother I’ve had to hide those feelings away from my son and if I’m honest it’s almost like a role play. You have to gather all your strength to get up, make breakfast, lunch and dinner AND then also actually entertain them in between all of this until it’s bedtime.
Bedtime for my son is usually my favourite part of the day for me when I’m feeling low because he has to go to bed early lol so I’d usually get a good 3 hours to myself in the evening to just cry or do whatever in my room
I was never prepared to be a mother but I’ve had to do my best to be a great mother. I look forward to the days of being married and raising my children with my husband, their dad but as for now I’m doing my best.
As a single parent I can say I’ve done the best I can but I know the benefits of having two parents together instead of one. Even though he does see his dad it’s still one parent in the home, so in the home the pressure is still on me to be strong and do the best I can.
I do feel as though if you were feeling low and have the support of your partner you would be able to have some me time whilst your child doesn’t feel the absence as much as when you are a single parent. You can also lean on your partner for strength in areas where you are feeling weak and aren’t able to do things you would do on a normal day. (Well this is what I would hope and I do pray that God provides a husband that will be strong for me in times of my weakness. Two is better than one).
“Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. If one falls down, the other can help him up. But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help. If two lie down together, they will be warm, but a person alone will not be warm. An enemy might defeat one person, but two people together can defend themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break.”
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NCV
As a parent you don’t want your children to see you when you’re down and upset and you don’t want your emotions to effect them when they’re older. Whether we like it or not these things will be replayed in their minds and may have a detrimental effect on them later in life.
Children don’t just have behaviour problems, these things usually stem from what’s happening in the home, when a child is socially awkward or is constantly seeking approval it’s usually down to being rejected in the home or not being shown love.
Children’s early experiences shape who they are and affect lifelong health and learning. To develop their full potential, children need safe and stable housing.
As parents we try so hard to be strong for our children and I don’t think this has an age limit because I know my mum is still trying to be strong for me.
You know even if your child is unwell you still have to be strong and try to show no weakness because you don’t want your child to panic, as parents we’re constantly trying to be strong for them.
As parents taking time out for yourself is so important a lot of parents feel guilty about this but it’s vital to have some "me time" especially if you’re feeling low. Like I said earlier you don’t want this to reflect on your children because what happens in the home will go with them to school and next minute you know your child is being sent to the headteacher for misbehaving in class.
Having family members or close friends have your children for a few hours or even a night just to have me time helps.
If you have one child having play dates with another child helps take the pressure of you as the children spend time with each other playing.
Take them to places where they can interact with other kids, you’ll be able to have some thinking time to yourself whilst they’re having fun because you don’t want to deprive your child of having fun just because you’re in a low state.
Sometimes you just want to lock yourself in your room and not do anything but cry, (crying is good) crying out to God is even better because He sees each & every tear that falls. “You have recorded my troubles. You have kept a list of my tears.”
Psalms 56:8 NCV
Whilst you’re feeling low you’ll ask God when things will change etc all the questions will pour out but one thing we must hold onto is God. It may seem hard when it’s round but He will change the situation around and make it work for our good it’s not a matter of if but when.