Is it too late for me?...

Have you ever just sat down and thought about time you’ve wasted, money you’ve wasted even food you’ve wasted (😩 I have) and just felt an emotion of sadness that you can’t really explain. So many if buts & maybes! If I didn’t do that, but if I had done it this way or maybe I should have done it that way. 

Whenever we feel as though we’ve wasted so much time it can be heartbreaking! 

We regret time spent wasting time, we regret spending money on the wrong things, money that would have been so useful today. 

We even get to a certain age and think that because we haven’t accomplished much we have been living a life of no purpose. 

Joel 2:25 says “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you.” God is able to restore things back to factory settings, even if we caused it upon ourselves, when we ask God for mercy and forgiveness He is able to turn any situation around.

It can be hard sometimes especially when you look at people around you and they are in certain positions you feel you should have been in or should already have accomplished by now.

Some of your mates are onto buying their 3rd property, having their second child with their wife/husband, being promoted to higher positions in your workplace and you’re just there wondering when things are going to happen for you.

I am a firm believer that once you give everything to God your cares & worries He is more than able to restore, replenish & replace. 

We’re moving forwards with God never backwards, we can’t be stagnant if we’re fervent in prayer! 

We must be intentional about what we pray for, we also need to remember that faith without works is dead, so as much as you may be faithful you also need to put as much work in as you can on the practical side and allow God to do His work in the spiritual side. 

If you’re unsure about where to start speak to someone with experience in any area you’re struggling in, pray and ask God to guide you. 

God is able to bless us with more than we thought we could ever have, when He gives you something it will make you forget about time money & years wasted. 

It may seem late to you but to God it is always on time. You may start your career later but the salary God is able to bless you with can be the salary of someone who’s had to work their way up in the company. 

God is able to bless you with money that you never thought you’d see again, He can grant you business ideas, He can grant you favour & miracles happen every day. You just have to pray. God is able. 

God is able to bless you with a spouse, someone that will see your worth and wouldn’t want to waste a second and take things to the next level with you, that baecation you want you’ve got it, the wedding it’s coming, those children are on the way. 

When God is ready to bring deliverance and restoration into your life time lost won’t even be a thing. You’ll be too engrossed in the now, amazed by all that’s happening in your life at that present moment. 

Don’t let the enemy make you feel as though you are a waste or that nothing can become of you, that’s all a lie! God is able to restore the years you have lost you just need to hold on and trust God. 

He is able, it seems hard but God can do it! Trust God & ask Him to help you to walk on waters like Peter did but instead of panicking ask God to hold your hand along the way & to never let you go, because it isn’t easy but with God we can do all things! 

"At least you have a child"

It’s been a long time since I’ve written and I feel as though I’m always starting a new blogpost like this, smh!

Has anything drastic happened? - Nope.

I’m just not finding the time to do things. 

It’s mental health awareness week and I’m going to discuss the difficulties of being a parent whilst going through tough times. 

I am not depressed and I most certainly haven’t been diagnosed with depression however there has been times when I’ve found myself in a low state, and the difference may seem similar but the diagnosis is completely different. 

Here’s a link from NHS.org about the symptoms for depression:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/clinical-depression/symptoms/

I can say that I have felt low, but I do believe that feeling low is apart of life. As a Christian I truly believe that God will always and can always lift you up out of your low times, the bible says, “If I go up to the heavens, you are there. If I lie down in the grave, you are there.” Psalms 139:8 NCV God is with us all the time. 

The signs that you’re feeling low according to the NHS

You may feel:

* sad

* worried, anxious or panicked

* tired

* a lack of self-confidence

* frustrated or irritated

* angry

* not interested in things

Or you might notice you start:

* withdrawing from your usual activities, particularly ones you used to enjoy or value

* spending less time with those you care about

* having trouble sleeping

I’ve found myself feeling low a few too many times of recent but as a mother I’ve had to hide those feelings away from my son and if I’m honest it’s almost like a role play. You have to gather all your strength to get up, make breakfast, lunch and dinner AND then also actually entertain them in between all of this until it’s bedtime. 

Bedtime for my son is usually my favourite part of the day for me when I’m feeling low because he has to go to bed early lol so I’d usually get a good 3 hours to myself in the evening to just cry or do whatever in my room

I was never prepared to be a mother but I’ve had to do my best to be a great mother. I look forward to the days of being married and raising my children with my husband, their dad but as for now I’m doing my best. 

As a single parent I can say I’ve done the best I can but I know the benefits of having two parents together instead of one. Even though he does see his dad it’s still one parent in the home, so in the home the pressure is still on me to be strong and do the best I can.

I do feel as though if you were feeling low and have the support of your partner you would be able to have some me time whilst your child doesn’t feel the absence as much as when you are a single parent. You can also lean on your partner for strength in areas where you are feeling weak and aren’t able to do things you would do on a normal day. (Well this is what I would hope and I do pray that God provides a husband that will be strong for me in times of my weakness. Two is better than one).

“Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together. If one falls down, the other can help him up. But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help. If two lie down together, they will be warm, but a person alone will not be warm. An enemy might defeat one person, but two people together can defend themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break.”

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NCV

As a parent you don’t want your children to see you when you’re down and upset and you don’t want your emotions to effect them when they’re older. Whether we like it or not these things will be replayed in their minds and may have a detrimental effect on them later in life. 

Children don’t just have behaviour problems, these things usually stem from what’s happening in the home, when a child is socially awkward or is constantly seeking approval it’s usually down to being rejected in the home or not being shown love. 

Children’s early experiences shape who they are and affect lifelong health and learning. To develop their full potential, children need safe and stable housing.

As parents we try so hard to be strong for our children and I don’t think this has an age limit because I know my mum is still trying to be strong for me.

You know even if your child is unwell you still have to be strong and try to show no weakness because you don’t want your child to panic, as parents we’re constantly trying to be strong for them. 

As parents taking time out for yourself is so important a lot of parents feel guilty about this but it’s vital to have some "me time" especially if you’re feeling low. Like I said earlier you don’t want this to reflect on your children because what happens in the home will go with them to school and next minute you know your child is being sent to the headteacher for misbehaving in class. 

Having family members or close friends have your children for a few hours or even a night just to have me time helps. 

If you have one child having play dates with another child helps take the pressure of you as the children spend time with each other playing. 

Take them to places where they can interact with other kids, you’ll be able to have some thinking time to yourself whilst they’re having fun because you don’t want to deprive your child of having fun just because you’re in a low state.  

Sometimes you just want to lock yourself in your room and not do anything but cry, (crying is good) crying out to God is even better because He sees each & every tear that falls. “You have recorded my troubles. You have kept a list of my tears.”

Psalms 56:8 NCV

Whilst you’re feeling low you’ll ask God when things will change etc all the questions will pour out but one thing we must hold onto is God. It may seem hard when it’s round but He will change the situation around and make it work for our good it’s not a matter of if but when.

When Things Go Left...

I was having a conversation with a few girls that I pray with and it went in the direction of; “things never working out” in areas of relationships, careers, plans etc I just had to laugh thinking about it because it’s so clear - do we even submit any of our plans to God before we even go ahead with them?

Are we really praying to God about every situation we run into? or, do we jump into them ourselves and then expect God to help us out when things get tough? Honestly, no one really cares to consult God when things are running smoothly but then as soon as we meet a dead end, that’s when we remember that there is a God who is our shepherd! I mean we robotically recite Psalms 23 “the Lord is my shepherd” Lol ok if the Lord is your shepherd then why are you continuously wanting? Why aren’t you being the sheep and letting God lead you onto the path of righteousness hmm? Yh Yemi why? I genuinely have to ask myself this question too.

“We do not enjoy being disciplined. It is painful at the time, but later, after we have learned from it, we have peace, because we start living in the right way.” Hebrews‬ ‭12:11‬ ‭NCV‬‬

It’s so important to consult God about every single decision you make; you can ask God about what perfume to wear that day, which outfit to put on, what journey to take, what jobs to apply for, how to respond to messages. Ask God about everything and even if you don’t get clear answers - because you’ve actually consulted him about it - He will definitely not allow you to fail.

In the conversation one of the girls said there are so many divorces etc and I responded saying some of these people may not have heard from God about their life partners and then committed themselves to the wrong person. Many couples do not allow God to be at the centre of the relationship nor do they even do what is required of them as husband and wife as it has been biblically written. They don’t follow the steps they’re supposed to take and then they don’t seek godly counselling so what do we expect?

People start businesses without hearing from God, they waste money and time when God had other plans for them. Although every L(oss) taken can be a L(esson) learnt! We can save time and money by consulting God first.

“Trust the LORD with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding. Remember the LORD in all you do, and he will give you success.” Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭NCV‬‬

Sometimes we do hear from God then we pursue things and leave God out of it instead of him being at the centre of it. Then we moan, cry and complain about things not working out or proclaim that God doesn’t want good things to happen in our lives! which is a lie - a straight up lie from the enemy.

“I say this because I know what I am planning for you,” says the LORD. “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future.” Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭NCV‬‬

I’ve learned this the hard way but at the end of the day God will still get the glory in my life and because of His promises I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me and that’s the same for you too. God is able to turn things around in your life if you just surrender it all to Him, let God be the pilot of your life!

Other times we hear from God but because those plans don’t fit into the fairytale life we have planned for ourselves, we don’t listen; Jonah was given clear instructions but he ran and tried to hide from God but he failed. If we don’t do what God wants us to do we will have to live with those consequences forever, God won’t swallow us up in a whale to get our attention; the bible is there for us to read and learn.

Don’t be afraid God will never allow you to be put to shame, don’t worry about what people will say or do as long as you submit everything to God you will not be put to shame and eventually everything will work out for your good.

“The LORD answered me: “Write down the vision; write it clearly on clay tablets so whoever reads it can run to tell others. It is not yet time for the message to come true, but that time is coming soon; the message will come true. It may seem like a long time, but be patient and wait for it, because it will surely come; it will not be delayed. Habakkuk‬ ‭2:2-3‬ ‭NCV‬‬

Lastly, if God has given you a vision try your hardest not to announce it prematurely; pray on it, seek counsel. Like Joseph, you could announce something God has shown you too soon and people will try to mock you and destroy those plans, Joseph went through so much but his vision still came to pass. Sometimes we can save ourselves so much trouble if we just seek God about everything first...

Dead Ends Are The Perfect Place For New Beginnings!

Oh my gosh! Guys! I have been trying to blog for the longest time but I just haven’t had the will to do so. I would definitely say most of this has been because of things going on in my personal life, I stopped allowing God to be God in my life for a minute. I was frustrated, confused, started being impatient and just wanted to be in control, but God is the author of my life and I thank God that I have been able to pull myself together a lot quicker than I ever have in my entire life. We cannot do God’s will in our own strength!

Have you ever repeatedly just kept doing the same thing over and over again? You just know you’re not supposed to be doing what you’re doing but you’ve literally found yourself at a dead end? You’ve fallen and you have nothing else to do but rise turn around and start again? 

Last week my Reverend preached about getting back up when you have fallen; she said being down is not your destiny and it surely will not be mine or yours in Jesus name - when we fall we aren’t meant to remain there.

““Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be my light.” Micah 7:8 ”

Don’t allow the enemy to keep you down. At the end of the day we’re not perfect, but not being perfect is not an excuse to do things that aren’t of God. We need to ask God to change us, He is able to save, deliver, restore and set us free.

As Christians we really need to stop beating ourselves up when we get things wrong; we are human, we will have doubts we’re not always going to be at peace with things in our lives but if we commit what is on our hearts to the Lord and be obedient He will give us peace. I have actually really learnt that Peace comes after Obedience.

When the angel approached Joseph and told him not to worry about Mary being pregnant by the Holy Spirit he literally made the decision there and then to just trust what the angel had said. Joseph had a thought maybe he should divorce her, it made no sense to him that she was pregnant, they hadn’t even been intimate and now she’s saying that she is pregnant for the Lord LOL! But what Joseph had in mind is not what God had instore which is why he sent the angel to him. (Matthew 1:18-24)

The angel never gave Joseph proof, and yes he did doubt but he trusted God!

Sometimes what is packaged as disappointment actually contains greatness!

“’The benefit of the doubt’ – a favourable judgement in the absence of full evidence, when things don’t add up, when I don’t have evidence to support my conclusion it means that, God is good, He is with me, He is for me” – Steven Furtick

Don’t let your doubts be dead ends, having faith does not mean you will not have doubts. Faith is not the absence of doubt it is the means to overcome it!

We will have doubts but we need to trust God anyway, no matter what the situation is if you submit everything to God he will turn everything around for your good! James 1:6 says he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. So, even though doubt may come to your mind, do not allow it to be your final verdict, put your faith in God.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” – Proverbs 3:5

Honestly I am begging you (and myself lol), let God be in control of everything that concerns you, trust in your journey - as long as you are being obedient and you are allowing God to direct you, He will not lead you wrong.

Your peace is so important, let patience have its perfect work in your life, in your career, relationships, future, EVERYTHING!!

No Obedience, No Peace!!

But He's Not My Type...

Have you ever been out with your girls and a guy approaches you? Your girls move to the side so that you and the fella can have alone time for like two minutes. You then approach your girls shortly after and they're like "sooo... did you give him your number" and you're like "NO! LOL He's not my type".

I tell people all the time if you're still single because you haven't found your “type” it's because your “type” just isn't for you!

I actually wrote this blog in Bible Study one evening after being inspired by the verse Acts 10: 14-15  “Surely not, Lord!” Peter replied. “I have never eaten anything impure or unclean. The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” And I thought about myself for a moment, a single mother of one, a lady who is far from perfect and very much not popular with a lot of people. Some people might feel to distance themselves from me or may feel embarrassed to be associated with me, I don’t know but in all honesty that's OK, "focus on God" as my Rev would say. 

Anyway, we see in the above verse that God has given Peter an instruction but Peter is saying it isn't something he would like to do because he's not familiar with it and God is like nope, don't call something I have cleansed as uncommon. Meaning just because it’s not your type doesn't mean it’s unworthy. 

Sometimes we’re so stuck in wanting to do things our own way. Avoiding things that we're unfamiliar with, things that won't ever take us out of our comfort zone because we fail to realise that God never moves based on how comfortable we are. It takes faith to be able to accomplish something that isn't what we are used to.

We're always looking for faults in people before we get to know them, or we listen to the opinions of others and let that tamper with our own thoughts.

If he's not too short, he's too fat or too skinny or he doesn't have a beard that you can stroke, he's not wearing the latest designer, he doesn't drive a flashy car. LOL! Ladies we're allowed to have preferences but let's ask God to give us eyes that will allow us to see past “our type”.

The most important things for me about a person, is their salvation and whether they are saved or not. He knows what he wants to achieve out of life, he loves the Lord with all his heart mind and soul; someone that can lead and someone that is prayerful. I believe that everything else will fall into place because at the end of the day God is working everything out for your own good.

The bible clearly tells us that we should look into a persons heart and not judge them based on their outer appearance. I know it’s easier said than done but if you truly get to know someone for who they are, you will get past the things that don't necessarily tick your boxes.

God is humorous, His banter is on another level like when Jacob wanted to marry Rachel but got Leah instead. As much as you may cry out to Him about the kind of guy you want, God can turn around and give you the kind of guy you need. God knows what’s best so whatever God gives you will be the best for you...  

So I pray that on your journey you just let God do His job and lead the right person to you, your type or not...! 

I Know Who I Am

I just want to thank God because finally I am starting to know my worth and my value the way God wants me to. I still struggle sometimes because as much as it's good to be humble, it's not OK to feel as though you are not good enough or not worthy enough and sometimes not even pretty enough. There isn't anything about my appearance that I would like to change because I am created in God's image (and beauty fades anyway Proverbs 31:30)  but there are things about my confidence and how I allowed myself to be treated by others; the way I allow people's actions towards me to make me feel. I should not be defining myself based on how a person treats me, that just isn't cool. 

The bible says that I am beautifully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14) and that I am a chosen person a royal priesthood and I am God's special possession (1 Peter 2:9) I am a child of God (John 1:12) I am the Daughter of a King (Galatians 3:26).

“You are not defined by your feelings. You are not defined by the opinions of others. You are not defined by your circumstances. You are not defined by your successes or failures. You are not defined by the car you drive, or the money you make, or the house you say you own (even though the bank really owns it). - Rick Warren”

Rejection also made me feel as though I wasn't good enough; it made me question myself and I truly felt like I just had to do everything I could to try and stand out to that person. I allowed myself to be picked up and dropped whenever it suited that person (I did that for like 2 years)  when really I should have just had the strength to say this just isn't what I want, I am worth more than this and I am going to wait for the right God-ordained person.

I remember when I used to see this other guy and he would pretend that he didn't speak to me when we were around people and made it seem like he actually never spoke to me at all. Can you imagine how I felt as an already insecure person? lol,  he was going church every Sunday and I was already under the illusion that everyone that goes to church was a Christian and trusted him to be so I was very wrong. I really did feel so low them times, I would go home and cry, I was so crushed inside because I was allowing the way a person treated me to define who I am.  

Your value is not in relationships, friends or even family; your value lies with what God has said about you. He gave His only begotten son for you, what more do you need to know that you are valued?

You all were bought at a great price, so do not become slaves of people. (1 Corinthians 7:23)

You have to constantly remind yourself about what God says about you daily, especially if you are someone like myself whose self-esteem was like a seesaw. Learn to see yourself through the eyes of Christ. You've got to have some pride in yourself, if you don't you leave yourself vulnerable to other people telling you who you are. You are who God says you are and no one else can tell you any different. 

Isaiah 43:4 says "you are precious in my eyes and I love you" God is always demonstrating our value throughout the bible, there is only one you and there will never be another you, there is no one like you that has ever lived and there never will. Even the hairs on your head he has counted, God says you are more valuable to Him than a flock of Sparrows.

It is so important to understand how God sees you, pray and ask God to consistently show you your worth, spend some alone time trying to understand who He has created you to be and how He feels about you. Ask God to teach you how to love yourself because if you don't love yourself you will find it very hard to love others. You are worth the pursuit because God is still pursing you, focus on God in the mean time - study, watch sermons about what God says about you. 

God will not fail you and as long as it is God ordained everything will work out for you. The Lord will fulfill His promises to you, the destiny of the Lord will locate you... 

My Happiness Is Just As Important As Yours

I've been thinking about what to write about for a while now and I honestly don't like writing about just anything but recently I've been put in a position where if my desires were met it might make a few people unhappy, BUT I wasn't placed on this earth to make EVERYONE happy especially if it means it takes away my own happiness and desires...

“God didn’t call you to keep everyone happy. It’s good to be loving, kind and generous but you are not responsible for others people’s happiness; you are responsible for your own happiness. - @BishopTDJakes
”

I think I've lived a majority of my life trying to please people and make other people happy and that really did mean stretching myself or not seeing my own desires met which was just silly. I was always doing things to make the other person happy but what about myself? 

Some of us are holding ourselves back from going after the things we want because of Commitments, Loyalty and all other things that God has not spoken about, which is a learned behaviour that can produce ignorance and arrogance which makes no sense because those things are not of God. 

Why do we feel as though we're more important than the next person? Why is the way WE feel more important than how another person feels? If you claim that they are your friend or family why wouldn't you be happy for them if the choice they have made opens the door of happiness for them as long as it's God's will for their life? 

Imagine God having a plan for you and you turn your back on it because it makes you and others feel uncomfortable, if you've been reading your bible you'll clearly see that God is all about making people feel uncomfortable for Greatness to be birthed and Purpose to be fulfilled. 

When Mary "the virgin" became pregnant, people gossiped; Moses had to drop the 'royal' title in order to pursue the right path! Can you imagine how many people were angry at him, the Egyptians could have been shouting about how they were the ones to raise him up from a baby and expected his loyalty to lie with them but that didn't stop him from doing the work God called him to do, no matter how uncomfortable you might feel God will never leave you. 

People talk all the time, they even talk about people that are dead. You can't stop them you've just got to leave them to God. What others think about you isn't any of your business the only thing that matters is what God thinks about you. 

When God is ready to move in your life He will do it in the right season, He is a God of ridiculousness. He breaks routine to bring order into life!  

We get angry with God when He doesn't do as we have prayed for because although He's answered the prayer He hasn't done it the way you thought He would. 

“If anyone thinks he is important when he really is not, he is only fooling himself.”Galatians 6:3 NCV

Sometimes the decisions we will make in life for ourselves will not always make another person happy and I'm telling you if that person was really for you they'd be happy about anything you do that brings happiness into your life. You don't owe anyone on this earth a thing. You came into this earth alone and you will leave alone. Sometimes it takes a certain situation to see who's really 'down' for you as they claim to be. 

So put yourself first no matter how it will effect someone else, they will grow to get over it eventually, if they were truly for you they would be happy for you too...

All you have to do to change your life is change your mind! 

LOL! So I should stay single because I have a child? OK

Ok ok ok, I'm back again I hope you're all blessed, my Lord we're in August! Where is the time flying to? August and I'm not even married with 3 kids yet? Somebody call the ambulance I think I'm gonna faint!

Looool  for real though I wanted to touch on the subject of “How do you find telling guys you have a child?”. When someone first asked me this I laughed. Some people are really intrigued and if I'm honest with you, I have only started hearing this question of recent! I don't know if I've mentioned previously but I have never really been so fussed on settling down and being in a relationship until about 2 years ago and I'm 28 (I know I look 16 don't tell anyone). My main focus has ALWAYS been just wanting to make sure I have a roof over my head, working real hard, making sure LA (my boom boom, the most precious thing on earth to me) is never wanting! I also have God to thank as He has kept me and made sure that I have never struggled to a point where I cannot cope. 

“May the LORD bless you and keep you. May the LORD show you his kindness and have mercy on you. May the LORD watch over you and give you peace".
Numbers 6:24-26

I never had a REAL DESIRE, until recently, to be married. I have always been content in my singleness I haven't longed for a partner or been in despair I never even thought about marriage. Even after I had my son with his dad I never thought let's get married because I've brought shame on my family and I do thank God my family never made me do that because we aren't even together anymore and haven't been for years. 

But back to question “How do I find telling guys I have a child”? I don't find it anyhow, I never have but the more I was asked this question the more I thought oh wow having a child clearly is a big deal for some people. I had never seen how this could be an issue, but I now do understand the issues around it. Don't get me wrong I did start to doubt myself a little and I started to think what if I'll never get into a relationship but that thought didn't last long because I just focused on God, because in Proverbs 23:7 it clearly states For as he thinks in his heart, so is he and I am not trying to be that way. I try not to let negative thoughts have their way with me!

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
II Timothy 1:7

As much as it's not cool having a child out of wedlock it isn't a shame it's nothing to be embarrassed and/or ashamed of. That being said, you don't need to post your child all over social media because I don't believe kids should really be exposed like that anyway BUT I do think that you should be able to be open and honest about it. 

I have always believed that when the RIGHT GOD SENT person comes along they will love me and everything about me. I'm not gonna sit here and write about the problems with dating someone with a child because that's the guys problem and should stay far away from me lol but I also understand that everyone has their preference.

Having a child out of wedlock is not a disability it's not the end of the world it is a blessing from God! 

“Children are a gift from the LORD; babies are a reward.”
Psalms 127:3

I asked my friend Dara what her thoughts were on marriage, despite having a child from a previous relationship. I wondered if she found it hard but her response was that she asked that God to make the transition easy as she wondered when the right time to introduce a man to her son was.  She's married to her husband Michael whom she met at church and as they both went to the same church it was easy because he already knew her son and the introduction was easier. You can read about her journey and buy her book SEVENTY: A Work in Progress on www.beingdara.com

I honestly believe that if a person cannot accept you for who you are and what you come with they are not for you! I've heard of stories where men and women will keep the fact that they have a child from the person they're seeing because they're afraid the person will leave, lol! You need to let them go because they clearly aren't for you. If you don't feel like you can be honest and open with the person you're dating then they surely aren't for you.

I would say if you're a person that doesn't have a child but the person you're pursuing does, you have to make sure that the doors are closed on the past with the child's parent and proper arrangements are in place as to when the child sees their parent etc. A conversation with the child depending on age will also be good introducing them to your partner and also introducing your partner to the mother or father of your child is always good too. Only do these things if you're in a serious and committed relationship and marriage is where you're headed to. I don't believe in bringing confusion to a child's life; there is no need to introduce them to every person you start dating. 

I think it's best to tell the person you're getting to know  about your child  in the first few conversations because it allows them to make a decision on continuing to get to know you before having invested feelings. 

Remember children are a blessing from God, when the right guy comes along he will love you and everything you come with!

Should I tell him I like him...

Hey y'all

I tweeted this today and it's been getting a few responses. People are like "well durr girls do it too" - my thing is, who said girls didn't do it? This tweet came from the actual thought of me liking someone and being vocal about it, then thinking the guy probably knows but he's acting like he doesn't and I truly believe if you've been vocal about how you feel about a guy, if he feels the same way then he should still pursue you as per. As far as I'm concerned, guys love to pursue the woman they think is right for them; no woman should be chasing a guy that is consistent about the way he feels about her.

A man is always intentional in his pursuit of you. If he wants you he'll make it known to you and everyone important to him, keywords: 'you' and 'important'. If he cannot tell his closest friends about you then he is NOT serious! If he hasn't verbally made it known (coupled with his actions) that he is interested in you and determined to pursue you then he is NOT serious. 

I've always been the kind of person that is very vocal about how I feel about something. Like, if I think you're cute I will tell you - I don't even mind flirting but I have realised every time I have chosen for myself I get it wrong which is why I don't entertain every DM I receive on twitter, or accept every date I am asked to go on because for me my time is very precious and there is no point wasting it on things that will not prosper.  

So the approach I am now taking is I need to pray about it first and talk to God first. I really cannot afford to be making the same mistakes again, I am not getting any younger and every other week my mum keeps reminding me that my husband is coming... she clearly doesn't know that I don't even have any guys on my line at the moment so hmmm. 

Even when I think back to previous situations I am reminded that I did not even discuss this with God, did I even tell the author of my life that "I like this guy, what are your thoughts" - God could have clearly shown me signs way before I had even seen them and saved myself a lot of headache. 

"Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and he will establish your plans". Proverbs 16:3

When you're thinking God why didn't this work? I did everything I think I am supposed to do, but the main thing I was supposed to do was tell him what my plans were pray about it then let God's will be done!

 

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ 

God only wants the best for us at the end of the day; He wants the best for us, He wants us to have a good future, so why not trust Him with your plans? Tell Him what you want, tell Him who you want, who you fancy, who you think is buff, be open with God lol. If it is meant to be it will be and if not, He will give you something better... 

Just Content I Guess...

Kmt. Yep, I'm starting my blogpost with 'kiss my teeth' because I've been dulling, taking my time to write another blogpost but tonight something keeps pulling at me to write so here I am lol. 

It's funny because I never used to be open and now I'm here writing blogs kinda telling people my feelings etc. Weird...

Anyhow, welcome back! I'm going to try to start writing about my journey as a single Christian woman! I just feel like I've read so many books about Christian women that are married and they tell us all about what they did before they were married and that's great but... what about the women like myself? Women that don't have a single potential in sight and would like to be married but still go through bad dates, experiences and temptations? 

As much as I am single and a Christian, I am also a mother of one. I'm a woman that would love to be in love and married someday; I would love to have more children, be a great wife you know all that proverbs 31 stuff but will this ever happen? I don't know. I would love for it to happen and it definitely is a desire of mine (desire - a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen), but this can only be so if it's the will of God and I hope it is, but I've also learnt to be content. 

To be content is to be in a place of peaceful happiness and I could say I'm content with how I am because if God wanted it to be any other way then it would be. But am I happy... well I'm not unhappy lol, I'm just content I guess (hope that makes sense). 

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.””

Hebrews 13:5

Like I'm so sure God knows what I want but I'm even more sure that what He wants for me is far better than anything I could ever want for myself...

““For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:8-9 NKJV

So here goes, Yemicita is going to try and do her best for the perfectly imperfect Christian girls out there that are single and seeking God whilst hoping to be a wife to a blessed guy one day... 

Whilst I Wait

Hey, hey I know its been a while smh I've been distracted by nothing...

Nothing much has changed with me, I've just come to terms with the fact that I am still waiting - I'm waiting for God to do a few things in my life. I know that nothing is too hard for my God & I'm pretty sure with a click of His fingers He can literally change my situation around, but what I've realised is 'what if I'm not ready yet?' What if God is using this time to make me work on myself so I can become the right person. I can pray for however long I want to & fast until I'm just flesh on bone but if He's not ready to do what He says He will do I need to wait! Work whilst you wait, I don't mean going to work for a company but work on you whilst you wait, work on your relationship with God whilst you wait. One of my favourite bible verses is "“Seek first God’s kingdom and what God wants. Then all your other needs will be met as well.”Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭NCV‬‬"

I genuinely believe that as I am seeking God He will supply all my 'needs', not the flashy car I want or the massive house I'd love to buy (if God wants me to have those then I will) but the things that I actually need & want He will supply all of those things... (Philippians 4:19)

It feels hard to wait sometimes because you think God isn't hearing you out but He is a God that makes all things perfect: "God has given them a desire to know the future. He does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what He is doing.” (Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:11‬ ‭NCV)‬‬. He's literally taking His time to put everything into place for you for when that time comes.

He is a God that hears and sees all ““‘This is what the LORD, the God of your ancestor David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears, so I will heal you.”‭‭(2 Kings‬ ‭20:5‬ ),

He definitely hears our call for help, He hears our prayers and He hears our conversations. He WILL answer our prayers...So he definitely hears our call for help, He hears our prayers and He hears our conversations, He will answer our prayers...

“I urge you & myself to believe that God will do just what He says He will do & He will fulfil every promise to you...”

“Trust the LORD with all your heart, and don’t depend on your own understanding.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:5‬ ‭NCV

All things are working for your good

Mark 15:34 “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me”

About 7 years ago I felt as if no one loved me & God didn't love me either, I probably didn't even love myself. I was in a dark place in my life; I had many friends, family, my partner then and my son but I still felt abandoned. Although I was born and bred in church I drifted away from God. I didn't have a relationship with Him but I still felt forsaken - cheeky of me, isn't it? I was a sinner. I was doing wrong but in all of that I still believed God had forsaken me.

Jesus was a man that came to earth to do good. Only he performed miracles; healed the sick, turned water into wine, fed the hungry, healed a paralysed man. He was perfect, he did no wrong in the eyes of God, yet he felt betrayed and forsaken by his own father. He felt abandoned… as if God had turned his back on him and in his agony, he took to Psalms 22 as an expression of what he was going through.

Jesus was holy and sinless; son of the Most High. He knew what it meant to be eternally forsaken in a much deeper way than a sinful human being could ever know.

Once I decided to give my life to God again wholeheartedly I came to learn the truth behind the verse Romans 8:28, that God would turn everything around for my good - what the devil meant for shame God will use for His glory.

Jesus suffered and died because of his fidelity to God's will.

Psalms 46:1 says that God is our protection and our strength. He helps in times of trouble - sometimes it feels like God doesn't hear our cries for help… maybe He even isn’t trying to change our situation. But we need to realise that God said that He will never leave us nor forsake us. God wants us to trust Him, not our careers, financial situation or material things.

Sometimes we might wonder why God hasn’t intervened in a particular area of our lives. But have you thought that that very thorn hasn’t moved from the side of you is because it is actually what is keeping you in the house of the Lord? That the thing troubling you is what’s helping strengthen your relationship with him? When we are weak we pray, we cry, we fast, we read, we connect with God. After all, in 2 Corinthians 12:9 He said “My Grace is sufficient for you” – when you are weak, His power will make you perfect.

God knows there is something you are seeking but if given this thing in your own time you might not see its true values. You could potentially forget who this thing has truly come from, parting ways with Him, thinking it was man-made and that you are man-made. However, God wants to be above everything you cherish and long for.

Seek First The Kingdom of God & All Things Will Be Given to You...

Sometimes we feel abandoned and that God doesn't love us, but ask yourself why should God give you these things when you can't even give him the smallest of yourself. Are you a faithful servant? Are you faithful over the smallest things? Do you trust him with the little you have?

Many of us think we have made it but we are far from where God wants us to be.

God wants us to be grounded in His word, when we are in trouble God sees this as nothing. Whatever kind of storm it may be, whether financially, mentally, spiritually, physically, He wants us to trust Him and not give up.

Many people are going through storms that nobody knows about, but the storms that are not visible to everyone will make a person to feel abandoned. God will promote you to the level of your pain.

God said He will raise you high, He will prepare a table for you in the presence of your enemies, your cup will run over.

God lives in trouble & sometimes we must go through things just to really see the Glory of God in our lives.

We're going to cry, we're going to be afraid and confused but if we do not grow weary in due time we will see God's work in our lives. We will see that that He has a plan for our lives. Even when things don't make sense - trust in God. He will never leave us nor forsake us. No matter the situation God hears our prayers.

I pray God will renew our strength so that we may run and not grow weary, live and not die. I pray that we will mount up on wings like eagles. I pray that we will laugh again and find our peace and joy in God. I pray that we will learn to trust God and learn that all things are working for our good.

God can literally turn your life around overnight if you allow him to. He will never forsake you.

Where do I start?

So I've been trying to write this blog for the longest time. I don't even know where to start might just jump in from the middle or from the end. 

I constantly have to remind myself that I am not perfect. I don't believe for a second that there is one perfect person on earth. The only person that came to earth and is perfect was Jesus. (“And having been perfected, He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him,” Hebrews 5:9 NKJV)

So where am I going with this, yes we make mistakes because we're humans but God still loves us. When we mess up God doesn't think to Himself yep let me start being evil towards Yemi I'm just going to start mistreating her and I'll let her know I don't love her. God only wants the best for us & He would like to think of us in a positive way and do positive things for us (Jeremiah 29:11)

This isn't an opportunity for us to continue in our wrong ways but it is a chance to know that God does love us regardless of our wrongs, thankfully we serve a God who is forgiving and merciful & because His first nature is to love which is why he sent his only begotten son to save us. (John 3:16)